I´ve just realized that it was exactly one year ago that I dyed my hair from blond to red. But that´s not the point.
I did so because I broke up with my boyfriend, was kind of angry and had to do “something”. So I dyed my hair knowing he would have certainly not liked it. It was kind of revolution. Childish, but who cared? I claimed it was part of a Halloween costume. (Wilma Flinstone. As I am writing this, I am laughing at me, so feel free to do the same).
A year passed and my life has changed in so many ways! I am in love, for example. A year before I was avoiding serious relationships more than washing dishes, a real Ice Queen. Now?! I can see me in wedding dress (really beautiful) and I have name for our first baby (SHE will hate us for it).
Also, I finally decided what I want to do in my life. I overcomed the idea of poor artist doing finance (my dad´s perception of future of any artist) and realized that I really want to dedicate my life to art and design no matter what. So I am doing it! Having art classes 5 times a week makes me feel fullfiled finally.
It was a good year. Many “parts” of me, like attitudes, dreams or goals are different now and it is interesting to go through it and see how things can change. And that´s how I came to a new tradition. Every Halloween I will look one year back. Hopefully not to scare me, but to remind myself the most precious moments or maybe to take lessons from it.
I have recently posted many photographs from Edinburgh. I took them this summer during one-day trip to this charming city (I was staying in Dundee, another Scotish city, participating at World School Debating Championship). We came right in the middle of Fringe festival (worth seeing!!!)
If you go there I recommend going to the main museum and take a look at the city from the roof top. That´s my favourite memory from Edinburgh.
Okey, this is bad. I am on the edge of nervous breakdown, seriously. I am lost, LOST, not knowing, confused, where I am going to study and maybe it sounds trivial to you, it really matters to me, to be exact, it matters so much that I found myself almost crying about what I am going to do…I can apply for only one Foundation at University of Arts London, what in regular intervals gives me a really hard time, desperately analyzing whether I should apply to CSM, my dream school or other, where I think the chances of being offered a place at course are much higher. The problem is I HAVE NO IDEA how good I am. I do not know if my portfolio is good or if it is bad, or miserable or exceptional or…
Call me weak, but I needed to write this to get it out of me… it´s such of relieve! I know it will be ok in the end.
I have a friend. A good one. Actually, he is one of the best friends I have. I know his strengths and he knows mine. He knows my weaknesses and I know his.
Almost every single success I have achieved in my life, we have achieved together. We set a goal and we went for it. There was no other option for us than to reach it.
After a long time we had a drink. As we talked, we set a new goal. We want to study in London. He is going to be student of LSE, I am going to study art and design. We will share a flat, buy bikes, find favourite restaurants and shop venues. He will visit galleries with me and I will watch reality shows with him. While I´ll be painting, he will read news from BBC for me and when he will read heavy books about international law for homework I´ll make pasta for dinner. And when it will be raining, we will go to the cinema and watch alternative film-club movies.
I am sure we will get there. Together, we can achieve it like we have achieved everything before, everything we wanted. There is no naivity in it.
A few minutes ago, I deleted my old posts….Well, from this point my blog is going to be a diary. Merely a diary of my art, sketches I draw, photograph I take and even more, a diary of my thoughts, ideas, inspirations, plans.